i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
she smelled like a LAN party
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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