Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize