Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
