FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
