You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
