The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
