the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
