Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
