I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize