if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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