Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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