why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
