dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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