Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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