It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
