you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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