She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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