As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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