so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
