I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
sex in a hospital.. check
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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