I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
