OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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