i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
