You really coming over, don't trick.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
