ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
