..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
