why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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