Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
