i may or may not be watching the land before time
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
