I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
home. puking in laundry basket.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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