Duck Duck Cougar?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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