I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
