i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
