I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
