i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
