He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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