Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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