He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
40s are totally the cure
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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