Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
