so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
