im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
