we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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