Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
a search helicopter?!
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
