Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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