o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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