they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize