when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
