Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
