I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
