we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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