Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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