Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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