We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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