I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
