Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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