They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize