She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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