so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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