So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
