This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
