I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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