come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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