she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
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