i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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