So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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