I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
